Reflections of City Hall, Richard Kearns, Dr Michael Gotlieb, two of my mentors

Good evening WWWfollowers,

Well todays' comments (posted yesterday) had to be whittled down to one minute of public comment so I crossed alot out. Honestly, I wasn't as nervous in presenting in front of Councilman Tom LaBonge (pictured with me) at todays Los Angeles City Council "Arts, Parks, Health, and Aging Committee SPECIAL MEETING. My comment was geared toward the Department on Disability (DOD) AIDS Coordinators Office (Steve's position).

There were numerous presenters who totally humbled me. Until today, I haven't seen how able "Disabled" people can be, how empowering, intelligent, amazing...words cannot discribe how humbled and amazed to have witnessed what I did today. People who were blind finding their way up to the podium, people in wheelchairs, double-"disabled"able-bodied men blind and deaf up signing and having interpreters as their mouthpiece as these so called "disabled" people where very much ACTIVISTS, who were claiming services and so on and so on. Oh, and the patience and attentativeness Councilman LaBonge showed was stellar. My eyes have been openned...I saw more light today and I went toward it. POWERFUL STUFF. Made my little "kindergarten" attempt at public comment seem so minute, but I know it was just as important. Steve Simon, AIDS Coordinator, was there to coach us a little so that made it better. THANKS to RICHARD KEARNS for the texts of encouragement and the texts afterward. Thank you!!!!! SO MUCH, you don't even know.

Richard is one of my mentors and an activist I have seen and him at several seminars, events, AIDS updates over the years...since I think around 2003. Actually I got to meet him on a more personal basis back on Friday February 5th when he organized the HIV/AIDS Eldder Advocacy Summit & New Media traing. also co-hosted by Bill Rosendahl and the AIDS Coordinators Office. It was an amazing Summit, I met wonderful journalists, bloggers, activists who I never would have during that event and also this encouraged me to start writing in this blog. Thanks Richard- don't mean to make you blush...well sorta. LOL

Ok, on to Michael Gotlieb MD. I've known him also for a while since he and Eric Daar MD, Being Alive LA, APLA all held the HIV/AIDS updates for a while every few months at the West Hollywood City Auditorium....so what...2003 or 2004??? not sure, the years start to blur...you young bucks will understand as time progresses.

The reason I bring up Dr Gotlieb is because he was so approachable back at the 25th Anniversary of HIV/AIDS event at Plummer Park in West Hollywood. I saw how patient & caring, heard him speak, how knowledgeable he is and then found out then he is THE MICHAEL GOTLIEB the person helped diagnose 5 patients and then reported these to the CDC back in 1981. That was when AIDS was called GRID, Gay-related immune deficiency. Before then, to me he was just an AIDS Doctor presenting updates at the Weho auditorium. Funny how details of peoples' lives remain unknown, huh?

Well...now update to December 17th 2009. Three days after "officially" started this blog. I attended a "Keys to Treatment Success" hosted by Michael Gottlieb, MD back on December 17, 2009 at the Pasadena AIDS Center on Fairoaks Ave. I had the opportunity to question and he answered back for about an hour or so...I just picked his brain...neato, eh? One of the Pioneers of HIV/AIDS...if not THE PIONEER and lil ole me. I'm sure my questions seemed amaturish at best. Oh well. ANYWHO...after becoming comfortable I asked him if he had ever done any YouTube video presentations because people would really like to hear what he says...like from horses mouth...ya following me here? Well, at the time he looked at me (dressed in his usual black) perplexed, and said no...I don't think so. Well, I just found an interview uploaded to You-Tube 12 days prior to the December event. And if I link it right...here it is:

A Conversation with Dr. Michael Gottlieb
(Conversation with the living)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFSATZZeQcY

**Uhh...don't know the HTML coding to embed so justuse the above link to view, Thanx.:p**

Los Angeles ACTIVISM...City Hall here I come!

Good evening fellow readers and BLOGGERS!

To the right is a picture of Steven Simon, AIDS Coordinator and from the Office of AIDS Programs and Policy (OAPP) and Lil Ole Me... Activist/Non-Profit Volunteer!!

Tomorrow (TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 2010) Eeeek, I am going to make public comment for the FIRST time in front of the
ARTS, PARKS, HEALTH AND AGING COMMITTEE at the Los Angeles City Hall.
FEELING A LIL "over my head" but am getting som great honing skills for public speaking from one of my mentors : RICHARD KEARNS...thank you ...so MUCH!!! If you only knew!!!! LOL...ok nervous laugh.

Here's what I have so far:

Good morning...my name is Leland Morrill...This is my first time addressing this Committee
Two fridays ago I attended the HIV/AIDS Elder Advocacy Summit & New Media Training co-hosted by Councilman Bill Rosendahl

********** Richard Kearns from the conference said to say "HI" .*********************

I'm here to express my concerns on budget cuts to the Department on Disabilities with reference to HIV/AIDS Services and The AIDS Co-Ordinators' Office.

PLEASE DO NOT CUT OR FARM OUT A SYSTEM THAT WORKS!

Cutting of funds for the Department on Disabilities undermines the AIDS COORDINATORS OFFICE mission statement of being:

"committed to developing and supporting programs and policies
that
PREVENT
TRANSMISSION of HIV and IMPROVE QUALITY OF LIFE for people
living
with HIV and
AIDS in the City of Los Angeles"

Just this past weekend I had a PRIME EXAMPLE of using the AIDS COORDINATORS website:
I was able to assist one of my newly HIV diagnosed brothers with changing his HIV Doctor using TWO WEB-LINKS:

• KAISER FAMILY FOUNDATION HIV/AIDS INFORMATION
• HIV L.A. RESOURCE DIRECTORY

If the website hadn't been maintained or updated because of budget cuts...ONE newly diagnosed young man may not have been helped.

The Department on Disabilities helps keep us EDUCATED...supplied with up-to-date information helping make informed decisions. Keeping AT-RISK-YOUTH and our CITIZENS from becoming HIV POSITIVE and out of Emergency Rooms.

We do not need our young sons and daughters thinking:

• HIV/AIDS is an old persons' disease
• is curable
• have an "I CAN'T GET IT" mentality
  

IF ANYTHING, THE Department on Disability need to be improved and expanded.
Thank you!

2nd Article of Faith...my own interpretation and ranting

(above is a painting of Bruce R. McConkie, one of my ancestors , hanging in the New LDS Conference Center)

OK GURLS and BOIS! Now for the SECOND ARTICLE OF FAITH:

2. We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam's transgression.

This seems a little harsh and real as we all know of consequence...and as for "ADAMS" Transgressions, that will be covered at the end along with scripture.

YES GURLZ...men means humanity...but for my purpose here I will use the male version, since that is what I am...just a sec...ok STILL AM...LOL!

Personally, I believe there are consequences for everything...good/bad right/wrong ying/yang...etc You get what you earn (deserve). If you decide to go against what the good book "bible" and other religious texts observed in our society today...it's considered a "sin". However, I mesh this with societal behavour ettiquette of the day. SINCE the bible is only one text of belief structure, now being "learn-ed" brothers and sisters, we live in a new time, a new age of information. We are able to decide for ourselves, what works and what doesn't.

FOR ME, a SIN is be defined as an act that does not work for me and has a consequence that negatively affects my life and may negatively affect those around me and/or their perception/trust/faith in me. HOWEVER, what is a SIN for me, may not be a sin for someone else and vise versa. We live in an age where many peoples with varying cultural attachments co-habitate with each other. SINS for me are based on belief structure and how fervently that is practiced on a daily basis. It is a very personal thing; not to be taken lightly because it also affects the psychological well-being, how "normal" is percieved, and how "self" fits into society as a whole.

I'll give one detailed example:

I accept ME as a sexual being that is attracted to men. Though I've had my times of being very sexually active, during those moments in my life I've also made sure I get tested for STD's and defined for me what is acceptable sexual behavour. I've also discussed my sexual practices with my Primary Care Physician(PCP), who thankfully is GAY; sought out a gay physician and am more comfortable with him. This is part of educating myself. If I chose not to educate myself during this phase and didn't abide by what was "revealed" to me...that I would consider a sin.

Now if I classify having sex outside of marriage (including same-sex) I have to remember that the mortal man is "an enemy to God. I also have to realize the "natural man" has needs. If I were heterosexual I could say "Hey I can get married & then have sex." Right? But I'm not. So how do I not commit sin and be a sexually satisfied gay male? A very gray area. Well, this is where a committed relationship comes into play. Until Same Sex Marriages become legal in the United States...I guess this is the area where I bring up the Mormons and plural marriages right? LOL.

I was raised to be a "heterosexual male" by my wonderful parents since July 1971 until I left for BYU in June 1984...13 years. For those years, no one ever told me how to be a chaste homosexual male. I can recall my Bishop always asking about masterbation but not about sex with other guys. At the time I would have been totally clueless-even though I felt a closeness to males over females at the time. I do recall my dad, getting gathering my brothers and I in the downstairs family room, getting a dry-erase board and doing a very quick, not very well done sketching and explanation of "The Birds and The Bees" . We all were red-faced and snickering about it. I also remember an ancient film-strip about male/female sex in 6th grade (Ms Nedvad's class). It basically was shadows with a presenter. As kids I remember we thought it was weird. I never attempted "playing around" with anyone as a child or teen. Would have never considered it because that, in my mind would have been a sin.

Now, perhaps there is literature for parents to teach from for their children who they suspect are gay since 3% of males aged 15-19 have had anal sex with another male(1). Well, I was never given any guidance as a child. Perhaps if I had I wouldn't have felt like a "kid in a candy store" as a newly out 18year old male in sexual prime. There was no guidance for me at BYU, in my church (LDS) or anywhere I knew of at the time. So I SINNED...so to speak. I considered 18 and coming out a rebirth after I had my first sexual experience because there was now a new awakening/awareness as a sexual being. Funny though, my experience was an enlightenment...didn't seem dark, dirty, nor did it feel like sinning. More like, WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME THIS COULD FEEL SO GOOD and that I would not feel like that first experience should have classified as a sin.

Back on subject. Based on the way I was taught as a child, then, I shouldn't have sex outside of marriage, right? Well, since gay marriage, in California except for those fortunate 17,0000 same-sex couples who were hitched, is not an option, a committed relationship for me is. So now that's what I should strive for, though, right now I'm in no hurry. Right now I'm also not having sex with anyone, Ok yes, I admit it. LOL. So don't hate on me, K? AND yes I know the last person who I had sex with and if he's reading, he knows who he is too.

-So to rap up this part, until gay marriage is legal..Here are guidelines for me:

-keep the sex in a committed relationship

-learn about STD's and HIV what the risks are.

-Establish my own comfort level of what I will and will not do sexually with another.

-Get tested for STDs/HIV ever 6 months; establish communication with my primary care provider (PCP) because they can be an additional resource of information.

-Trust my friends to help me along my path.

-attend forums, lectures, AIDS Service Organization (ASO) seminars & know who they are in my community/neighbourhood.

-check online resources for updates/alerts..some resources I use are the local gay an lesbian center, Center for Disease Control (CDC) website...and just "Google" or search for what I am looking for.

(NOTE: I'm not saying I'm perfect & the above are always observed, but hey it's a start.)

Now about ADAM's TRANSGRESSION:

Was Adams transgression actually a sin? Hmmmm...

“This was a transgression of the law, but not a sin in the strict sense, for it was something Adam and Eve had to do” (Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, 1:115).

So for me SIN...depends on religious law of the day. It is also based on knowledge (hardknocks, reading of religious text, education, q&a, etc) and varying interpretations.

In fact, one of my own ancestors, Bruce R. McConkie,
made comment on this.

Elder Bruce R. McConkie taught that:

“the use of the term transgression lays emphasis on the violation of the law or rule involved, whereas the term sin points up the wilful nature of the disobedience” (Mormon Doctrine, p. 804)

We know Adam wasn't supposed to eat the "fruit" (apple-what I was told as a child) of the Tree of Knowledge---good and evil. BUT had he not...we would not be here...me thinks.

Ok boys and girls...here's where we decide which VERSION of the bible to use...I prefer the 1604 King James I version (finished in 1611)...the one I grew up with as part of "the quad".

1 John 3:4-7
4: Whosoever commmitteth sin transgresseth also the law: for sin is the transgressin of the law.

5: And ye know that he was manifested to take away our sins; and in him is no sin.

6: Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him.

7: Lttle children, let no man deceive you: he that doeth righteousness, even as he is righteous.

AND THEN:

Moses 6:53-55 (LDS/Mormon Pearl Of Great Price)

53. And our father Adam spake unto the Lord, and said: Why is it that men must repent and be baptized in water? And the Lord said unto Adam: Behold I have forgiven thee thy transgression in the Garden of Eden.

54. Hence came the saying abroad amoung the people, that the Son of God hath atoned for original guilt, wherein the sins of the parents cannot be answered upon the heads of the children, for they are whole from the foundation of the world.

55. And the Lord spake unto Adam, saying: inasmuch as thy children are conceived in sin, even so when they begin to grow up, sin conceiveth in their hearts, and they taste the biter, that they may know to prize the good.

My basic message in the end is:

SIN is a necessity that we experience...and we learn from these transgressions.

OK I'm done for this one...

"talk amoungst yourselve" LOL.:)

Lele is over and out

SOURCES:

(1) Mosher W, Chandra A, Jones J. Sexual behavior and selected health measures: men and women 15-44 years of age, United States, 2002. Advance Data from Vital and Health Statistics September 15, 2005; Number 362:21-26.

Howdy. WWWland. Discussions Starting with the 13 Articles of Fath & ALSO Went to SLC in January...

...to visit my family, mormon sites, and mostly for the Sundance 2010 Film Festival. I had a wonderful time visiting with my parents and spent one day on Temple Square by myself and the next with my mom and dad. I was amazed at how cavernous the new Conference Center is 1.4 million square feet!!! We had an amazing guide who also taught us alot about Aaron Friebergs paintings associated with the Book of Mormon. I didn't know Frieberg was LDS...That was new to me...such a respected artist. Oh there's one painting in the Church Office Building I always used to stare at as a child..the one in the main lobby of Christ and his foot...the foot follows you...if you've been there you know what I mean...I'll post those two somewhere in this blog at a later date. First I want to start the blog stating the Mormon Articles of Faith...and base the first entries off these because over the past 26 years of living outside my parents abode, some still ring true even though I live a gay-male lifestyle. Here they are:

The Articles of Faith of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:

1. We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.

2. We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam's transgression.

3. We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.

4. We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.

5. We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof.

6. We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth.

7. We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth.

8. We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.

9. We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God.

10. We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory.

11. We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.

12.We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.

13. We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.
Joseph Smith

I"M GOING TO START with explaining my own interpretation of each per post. OK here goes kiddies!!




1. We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.



MY INTERPRETATION: I do believe in the HOLY TRINITY. However, I've personalized it.



I do believe in a supreme leader, guidance counsellor, someone who is higher up in intelligence, experience, more-knowing than I, and a father figure...This is who I believe is GOD, The Eternal Father, sometimes referred to as Elohim.



JESUS CHRIST, I equate as being "the older brother" who looks out and protects his younger siblings and is the second in command from a male perspective. (PLEASE NOTE: I DO BELIEVE females play a HUGE role within a family structure. They carry a spirit/body and introduce this child onto our world.) I think of Jesus as being the older brother we wish we had. Even though he may not be perceived as "perfect" by all, is in my mind and heart. Someone who is counted on carry us, help guide us through our trials and good times here on Earth. Someone who also loves us unconditionally; knows of our differences and secrets from a sibling side...different from parent and child.



The HOLY GHOST, I think of as a shaman, a "still small voice", the conscience. An entity who's form we currently do not picture but who is an ecclesiastical leader who's word is made known through prayer and insight and by self-education and being able to make decisions based on the good of character, belief, and what works.



Now, how does the HOLY TRINITY fit into being gay, hiv/aids exposed in this era of time??? That's a good question.



For me, they are the silent heavenly leaders throughout time that western society has believed in through varying ways...mostly through eclesiastical leaders...priests, bishops, popes, kings...interpreters before the masses were literate.

After, during this "information age" where we can google, "wiki", search, blogg, facebook, twitter, and question anyone anywhere...including outerspace...if someone is there with a computer. We as a human race have;through our current media structure, translation software, and technology been able to share how we all feel, what subjects we want to discuss in varying levels of depth. This means that those who "may" feel ostrosized/different in person have the ability to use an alter ego online....so even though I came out and said I am gay...as an IM (Instant Messenger) I could discuss using another persona and probe other peoples beliefs, etc.



That being said, even though I am a sexual being (should I choose) with the ability to procreate, single, homosexual-identified male, these do not preclude me from being part of the greater social religious network of humanity. I identify with many "straights"/"bisexuals"/closeted/homosexuals/asexuals/"downlow"/and I'm sure "straight"for-pay and "gay"for-pay humans: male/female and surgically-altered. I do not find me to be a deviant sexual being...rather I'm proud of my sexual identity, it is a part of my self expression.

ALRIGHTY, enough for today. :)